A Tri-Cities Guide to Visiting Seattle and Not Getting Robbed
Most of us can get to CenturyLink Field and Pike's Place Market without getting into trouble, but if you decide to take a week to explore the city (and please do) here are a couple things to remember to avoid being robbed, killed or taken advantage of:
- If someone offers you his new rap CD, just keep walking and don't make eye contact.
- Pay attention around umbrellas. Those things will poke your eye out.
- Don't stand on a corner staring at a map. You may as well shout, "I have a wallet full of money and plan to walk slow and aimlessly around your neighborhood!"
- Don't dress like your credit card has a high limit. If you go on vacation to impress strangers you deserve to be mugged.
- If you can swing it, fake a Russian accent. People are scared of Russians. If you cannot, fake a Boston accent... same effect.
- Go pee every time you find a nice restroom. There are no guarantees in life.
- If a train car is empty... there's a reason.
- Don't make eye contact with the crazy people.
- If every other business is a quick loans or liquor store you're in the wrong neighborhood.