Why can't the Columbia Basin have the hellacious halitosis the Italians have?

Italy has smothered their Burger King Whoppers with three times the amount of onions to guarantee that, say, if someone is waiting with you to catch the elevator? Your breath is so bad, they'll take the stairs, no matter that their office is on the 54th floor.

A lot of "no comments" on behalf of Tri-City Burger Kings regarding adopting the triple onion whammy Italian Whopper packed with putrid social distancing power. There are 3 BK's in Pasco, 2 in Richland and 3 in Kennewick. Hermiston and Prosser each have a Burger King as well, so we have potential. I would hope at least one might entertain the thought of offering such a solid example of social distancing.
All of this corona-crazy is a simple lead in to National Hamburger Day, today, May 28th.
It's believed that the roots of this classic sandwich can be traced all the way back to ancient civilizations such as Egypt. The Egyptians would prepare a ground meat that was formed into patties and spiked with various spices.
But but but wait....there's a food fight over the birthplace of the modern hamburger.
Some hamburger historians say Athens, Texas. And everything's big in Texas.
The story goes that Fletcher Davis sold hamburgers at his café in Athens in the late 1880s, before bringing them to the 1904 St. Louis World's Fair.
Whatever the case, bragging rights are not the issue at the moment as my grill is now the perfect temperature and I'm treating the cul-de-sac to some quality burgs.
Good night, friends.