My apartment complex is demanding every dog owner bring it down to the office for a DNA saliva swab. They're keeping pet DNA on file because every time poop is found on the grass, they're sending it in to the lab and getting the name of the owner!

The managers say you'll be fined $100 for the first offense, then $200 and $300 for a third offense!

It's an extreme measure, but it needs to be done. I'm all for it!

Isn't it exciting we live in an age where DNA can solve such nefarious problems!

This is my neighborhood: